低潮期

每每到了一個時期就會感覺很低落
我自己所謂的低潮期
什麼事情都提不起勁
上班的時候也很懶散
只想每天上班後趕快回家
不想和別人溝通
不想要想太多
只想待在自己的安樂窩
回家很家人一起聊天、一起看電視
累了就睡覺
過了一天就是一天
每一天都期待著週末的來臨

可能是最近發生太多事情了
同事們走的也走了
還有幾個要到別的地方工作
我知道，天下沒有不散的筵席
這樣的離別可讓我覺得突然很孤單

每一天就好像鹹魚一樣
懶洋洋提不起勁
啊～～～
我的動力你在哪兒？
繼續當鹹魚去～飄

裂痕

冷静了下来
想了想
是我错了吗
是我气上头说错了话
还是我自己把事情放大了
为什么让别人的事情搞得我们的感情有裂痕
为什么让别人的事情影响了我们

大家都知道
隐瞒
可以是好的决定
也可以是坏的

我曾经因为隐瞒
结果造成和家人的关系不好
也用了很久的时间
才慢慢的和家人重新建立感情
但是始终大家之间还是会有那个裂痕
事情发生了就是发生了

这是我的弱点
所以任何事情
从一开始
要就坦诚的相对
不然只会自己在纠结、辛苦
到最后，结果也不是大家想要的

我知道我不太会表达
也许我的情绪突然被点到、被影响了
才会那么情绪化
所以让你们误会了

可是我承认
我的确在意
因为我以为这些都是约定
说到就得做到
要不然为什么当初要作这所谓的约定

以上。

过去的事就让它过去吧
我们也是这样从过去中学习成长的

Thoughts

I used to think a lot while I am driving
No matter I am driving home or driving to work
I will just off the radio and start thinking
Think about future
Think about career
Think about family
Think about relationship
Sometimes my thought will lead me to be emotional
There were few times I was crying alone in the car
But I find it relieved afterall
Maybe this is one of my way to release stress

Dear my friends, sorry for not telling you my issues
It was always not the right timing to tell
I will be very emotional if I were to tell
When the right timing is here, I will definitely share with you.

It's not the time to relax

JUNE LIM, this is not the time for you to relax
You should adjust your mood for the challenge
You are the one accepted it
You have to do it no matter how
One more peak
It will be over
Afterall you will be free
You may choose the path that you have desired

So now
Lets just do it
Nothing is impossible
If you think you can, you CAN!
Get prepared and try you best
Don't disappoint anyone who gave you the chance
Hold the opportunity and be impressed!

是时候放弃了吗？

每每我想放弃的时候
就会发生很多和他巧遇的事

就好像星期三
在上班的路上驾着驾着
突然发现原来前面的就是他的车

到了星期五
把车停好的
走去公司的途中
又看到他就在我前面
经过便利店
他走了进去
我也跟着进去
买了早餐就去等电梯
眼看他还在后头排队付钱
我等到电梯了
进了电梯
没想到随后跟来的是他
他就这样站在我前面一直到七楼
当时感觉那段上七楼的电梯特别慢
在电梯里
我悄悄地拿起了电话拍了他的背影
他就离我那么近
可是我却感觉我们彼此之间的距离很远

到了晚上
我准备离开公司
正要出公司门
看到他从门外要进来
我们互相都看到了对方
可是我没和他说再见
他也没说一句话
我们就这样互看笑一笑插肩而过
我顿时觉得心里很酸
本来就没什么交流的两人
现在变得更加陌生了

我知道了，是时候该放弃了。

其实也没什么的
自从中秋节那天过后
我们再也没互发信息了
就这样让他淡去吧

忙

这两天都很忙
在忙工作上的事
一边跟进前一个job
另一个新的job也开始了

manager催也就算了
client又不合作
还给我脸色看
气得我真想一巴掌巴下去

顾得了前一个job
又顾不了新的job
有一股冲动想把东西丢在一边就这样潇洒地走掉
可是我做不到
太多commitment了
没办法走得那么潇洒

那天做到三更半夜
真的突然觉得很低落
还好有HC、CH在公司给我意见
让我稍微发泄一下

我好想跟你们发泄
不过发泄过后
还是得面对它、解决它
算了吧

错过 - Missed

Now playing: Plain White Ts - Rhythm of Love

我讨厌自己的薄脸皮
明明自己就很想看他打乒乓
去不想自个儿去看
等呀等时间过去了
乒乓也打完了
只看了后面的两场
很活该对吧

‘最后我们虽然输了
可是至少也进了决赛’
我好想这样安慰他
可是他看起来也应该没事吧
才不要厚脸皮的去whatsapp他

今日一事：
今早在去公司的路上遇见了他
他的车和我的车在大道上插肩而过

当时我在公司附近的大道
突然看到旁边的车主很熟
看一看车牌号码
结果真的是他的车
就看到他一边驾车一边摸着下巴*很可爱* *我当时竟然紧张到手在抖*
然后他的车加速了
我也跟不上了

就这样，我错过了他两次。

他

他 不高
他 不帅
可是
他 贴心
他 认真

他 运动细胞很好
他 会打乒乓
他 会踢室内足球
他 家里排行最小

原来我对他的了解就只是这些
好想更加了解他多一些 :(

等一个人

每一个人都在等一个人
等一个会发现和珍惜他们的好的人
每一个恋情的开始总是得有一个邂逅
属于两人的邂逅

我也在等一个人展开属于我们两人的邂逅
我的那个人,你什么时候才会出现啊?

喜欢一个人

我又和他传简讯聊天了
自己不争气
厚脸皮地去问人家的成绩
明明自己就知道了
还硬要问
就是想从他那里知道就是了
其实我也不知道
自己是不是更喜欢他了
还是觉得喜欢一个人那么久却没结果
所以怎样都不肯放弃
反正现在都还没有市场
就享受喜欢一个人的感觉吧

心情日记@070814

今天的心情不错，给他一个七分
因为今天发生了一件糗事和一件值得小小开心一下的事
糗事就不多说了 *请看前一个PO文
说说开心的事

这个星期都是training的日子
今天还特别有免费的午餐 （开心+1）
吃过午餐后就和同事们到处走走
就在走到不久的时候
我看到前面迎面而来的是他和他的同事们
他也好像发现是我
我们往右边转的时候，我转身回头回同事的话
无意间看到他刚好转过身望着左边，就是我这里的方向
就这样我自己开心了一下 （开心再+1）

好了，继续上training

以上

糗

今天早上发生了一件很糗的事
8点早上就到了公司附近的露天停车场，准备走去公司
走着走着，我听到很大声且很快的脚步声从后面传来
转身一看，是一个走得很匆忙的男生
可是一不回神，我就跌坐在地上了
原来今早下雨了，地上很滑
我转身的那瞬间没留意到那湿溜溜的地
站也站不住就这样很糗的跌坐在那里
还好只有后面的那个男生看到
而且反正我也不认识他
然后就自己默默地站起来
把笔电包擦一擦，再把包包抹一抹
衣服也看一看，确定没事了再继续走到公司

可是可恶的是，我把这件事告诉我的大亲友们
回复的却都是哈哈大笑
可怜我，现在屁股还隐隐作痛 >.<

顺其自然

记得四月的时候求了个签
签解的是让事情顺其自然、让上天去决定。
这几个月来我都让一切顺其自然

可是事情就真的顺其自然吗？
我还不知道
就等时间久了
自然而然就会揭晓了，对吧？

六月的总结

来写个六月的总结吧
今年的六月真的是精彩
去了几个地方
也发生了让人印象深刻的事情
又开心的也有不愉快的
先说说不愉快的吧
认识了很久的朋友
最近才更了解他
原来我们的友情只是浅
没关系吧
反正我也没有在在意
再说说一些好的事情吧
今年的生日
好友让我过了无忧无虑的一天
不必驾车不必担心任何事情
只是尽情的享受没压力的一天
而且当然也收到了大家的生日祝福
我知道我很挑、要求很高
但是你们也迁就了我
真开心有你们
听我说心事、发牢骚
有时候火气大还会发脾气
我会尽量把坏脾气改掉

这个月内我们出游了两次
两次都是不一样的感觉
马六甲我吃了好吃的榴莲泡芙、satay
我们也一起喝酒聊天畅谈
虽然是塞车了几个小时
不过还好不是我驾车*哈*

出游Langkawi也是很好玩
第一次喝得那么醉
第一次驾车载那么多人*说实在是有点怕怕*
第一次玩骑马打仗
虽然也发生了一些不愉快的事
不过只要把愉快的事记起来就好了
不愉快的就忘了吧
所以，下一次我们是时候冲出国外了

害怕

我本来以为六月是一个很让我期待的月份
可是却发生了很多事情
感觉就在坐过山车似的
让我喘不过气
尤其是工作上的
工作上我必须要接手之前留下来的
才发现原来一点也不容易
让我真正地体验到皇帝不急太监急这句话
上司总是很忙，工作交上去了要几天到几个星期才有回复
就会有一段时间是很空闲
是会享受那段时间
只是宁静是暴风雨的前夕
每一次空闲了一段时间都会突然一堆工作要赶着做完
那似打仗的过程真的很让人喘不过气来
我时常在想是不是我的能力不足？
所以才做不来
我知道每一次我都会无形中给自己压力
觉得自己做得不够好会有污点瑕疵
朋友之间也是发生了一些让我心情起伏很大的事情
是我的忍耐力、妥协能力变差了
还是我变回了以前的我
脾气暴躁、控制不了自己情绪的我
我该怎么办
我害怕会回到以前情绪不好的我

Birthday wishes

As per requested by one of my friend *ahem, don't wanna disclose her name*, I would like to write about my birthday wishes. XD My birthday and my favourite month of the year is just around the corner, I really can't wait for it to come! Okay, let's talk about my birthday wishes. All I want are actually warm birthday wishes from my friends, families, colleagues and hopefully 'him' too. Someone please hint him on my birthday please, just kidding. Erm, maybe I would like to have a birthday cake too. No need to be a huge and fancy cake, a small one will do. Maybe one slice also can la, I really don't care. But if possible, a complete cake la. Sound too demanding huh? For myself, I would get myself a present but I am still thinking and considering what to get. A Parker pen, a pair of new shoe, a nice necklace, a new watch, a new sewing machine or a mini ironing pad? I couldn't make up my mind. Sigh, too many choices and I can only buy one. How good if I am a millionaire. Haha. Dream on and goodnight.

Lucky day

I think I have utilised most of my luck for this month. No more lucky day for this month. I got my stuff done as I wish to. My accounts finally got reviewed by the partner after so long, like about one week. And then, I got to talk to him today! At first, I talked to him through office communicator to ask for guidance. He did help me by giving me reference. Then, we did talked in person while both of us were in the pantry. He was the one who started the conversation. Yes, I was not dreaming. Good one right? Tell me yes please. Haha. Yea, that's all for today as well. Continue to be happy until June. Hopefully. I want an interesting and happening June please. *Pray hard*

Emotional day

One day of last week, I got a complaint email from my client, whom I never met before as I liaised with him only through email. I felt I was at the lowest part of the world and feel like hiding my self from everyone. I did sent an email for apologies which I wouldn't know whether he accepted or not. And, I didn't know whether that was a right decision to send him apologize email. The day after that so-called-incident, I felt like my Director knew it. I am not sure whether I worried about it and thought too much. But I felt 'something', not sure. That day was my first day which I slept so early throughout 2014, I would said. I can't face it and I rather sleep and not think about it. This is me, always avoiding things or problem that I wouldn't want to do or solve. My bad attitude. Okay, that's all for last week. It's over now.

No title

I always feel so grateful as my life was being so smooth. I have never failed in any of my exam since I was young. Is this because of my hardwork or my luck? I am always a good students and never let my parents, my family and my aunt disappointed during school time. And yes, I did my best and passed my ACCA as desired. After graduation, I managed to work in Big 4 firm. My achievement in my education, my career are satisfied. But, when it comes to relationship, the luck is no longer with me, I think. Someone give me the luck please. Or I should just let it be.

Last day

And yes, today is a brand new day. Spent the night with my bff. Feel so blessed we can talk a lot even though we have not seen each other for months. We laughed and we teased each other. Was enjoyed the time with my bff and able to forget about him for a while. :) Before i forgot, i have passed my JLPT N5. Finally, i got my result after 2 months. Have been waiting for it since January. Haha. Applied half day leave for the dental appointment. Dr Aaron put the rubbers in between the teeth to expand the space. Feel a bit numb and nothing much although he told me that it will hurt a bit. Went to kino after that. Read a book about relationship and i found it quite interesting. Hmmm. Went to shop too and i bought a top and a skirt. Gonna stop it before i become shopaholic. =.="

Countdown

Now playing: Westlife - Swear it again 

Tomorrow will mark the last day of the one month period. I gonna delete all whatsapp conversation with him *although it is only a few message*, and reset my mind. 

I swear it again, I will let go this stupid-and-no-return-thought. I tried myself not to think about him anymore. But I dreamt of him again last night. Sob sob. He was sitting not far from my seat and I could hear him talking from the back. I put on the earphone and increase the volume so that I could hardly hear what he was talking. 

I can do it!

Grey

So coincidence that both of us were wearing grey outfit today. But my mood was just like the color, grey grey de. Tomorrow will be the last two days of the one month period. Hopefully i could just let it be thou I know I couldnt at the moment. Should I just give myself some confidence and just do it. So that I wont feel regretted afterall?

Moody night

Had serious Monday blue in the morning. Life goes on and work goes on. As usual, I stayed back after client and continue working in the office. Reached office and found a random seat. He was sitting right in front of me, few rows away but we could see each other clearly. I really made myself to focus on work, try not to look at him all the time, but I couldn't. Sob sob.

Sent my junior to his car and back to work. Li called and started to chat about her working and her discussion with Director. Feel better that I found someone to at least talk to while working. Stop chatting and I continued to work till 1.30am. He was still there working, how I wish I could go and say goodbye and take care to him but I didn't. I have no confidence to do so. 

Movie night

It was a random one after work. Since both my senior and I are free and most importantly it is Friday night! Initially, we wanted to watch 'Need for speed'. But end up watching '300'. The movie was so violent. Full of blooding scene. I was covering my face most of the time. but the movie wasnt that bad except for the slow-motion-violent-blooding scene. At least I didnt fall asleep during the movie. Haha. Okay, thats for my Friday night.

13/03/2014

Now listening: 楊宗緯 - 那個男人

Today's weather was terrible and very hazy. Able to wake up on time for work, traffic was not so bad too, and reached office earlier as compared to yesterday. Bought bread and milk as breakfast and started working. 

That's was my morning today. Nothing much. 

The 20th day

It has been 20 days since our last chat. I feel sad because I am always the one taking the first step. I always hope to be your friends, just a normal friend. Not like now, whenever we talk, it will eventually link to work related stuff. How badly I hope we could talk more friendly and casually about our life, our family or our interest. But you seem like treating me just like colleague, not even friend.

Everyday I saw your car parking at B1 or near office, I will feel motivated to work. 'Am I really like you or you are the motivation for me just to continue working in audit?' I always question myself. 

Okay, I will give myself 10 more days, try to let go as much as possible. Goodbye, in 10-day time. 

June

Back to my blog - Mixed feelings

Now playing: Let her go - Passenger 

Today is International Women's Day. Happy International Women's Day to everyone! As usual, we got some goodies from KPMG. Last year, it was a energy drink with sticky candy. This year, we got a purple scarf and milk powder. :)

It was my tooth extraction day as well, to prepare for orthodontic treatment. My senior even wished me 'Happy tooth plucking day!'. Although it seems to be hurt a bit, but I think it worth as I will have my nice teeth after all!

However, it was kinda sad to know about the MAS MH370 incident. The airplane could have been crashed since it lost its contact at 2.40am. However, I still hope for the good one. Be optimistic. Because I know that it would be very heart breaking for the passengers' families if the crash did happened and the feeling is not good, definitely. 

Kept thinking about my work today, but I seem to kept myself away from that. Instead of working from home, I took nap twice today. Maybe I was too tired or I was just ignoring it? Sometime, I would feel no pressure and chill. Sometimes, I would feel the self-pressure working within me. I am confused. I wish I could just sleep and everything will be over eventually. 

Sigh, this is my first post back to blogspot after being abandoned for 4 years. Should have written something positive.